Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
