you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
