One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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