I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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