How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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