i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
