if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
