I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
