I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
