with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
