Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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