I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
