I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
