SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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