bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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