You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
