for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize