I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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