we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
