I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
