Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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