Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
