If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
