I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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