So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My liver just had a heart attack.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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