She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
