Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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