I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
