i just google imaged poop.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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