I'm drive I can fine osifer
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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