he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
