Jerry, you need to find god
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
