I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I intend to get homeless drunk
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Don't tell me you're on acid again
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
