I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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