I love black thongs
i wish my penis had a tongue
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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