there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
