Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
