May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
