I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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