I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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