She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
