She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
