I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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