shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
