I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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