I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
