i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
