My first STD was from a foam party
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
