I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize