I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
