there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
