Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
