I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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