You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
