I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
