I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
