Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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