Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize