Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
