Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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