He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
how drunk are you?
Several
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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