and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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