I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
