He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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