I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
