Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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