Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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