There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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